Here are some excerpts from the article to help understand:
In sixth grade, only a third of friendships endure through the school year, research shows. If you ask middle school students to name a best friend, only half of the kids named will reciprocate and identify them as friends in return; by 12th grade, just 1 percent of middle school friendships remain intact.
Meanwhile, the experiences kids have in middle school aren’t objectively worse than at any other time in their lives, Fagell argues. These competencies are essential to navigating everyday setbacks—failing a test, making mistakes on social media, misinterpreting social cues—and without them, situations can escalate, making it difficult for kids to enter the classroom ready to learn.
PHYLLIS FAGELL: I’ve found that people often misunderstand what bullying is. Lots of mean behavior doesn’t rise to the level of bullying, which can be identified by the three Ps: purpose, pattern, and power. With bullying, there is an intent to wound. It’s not just a one-off comment; there’s a pattern of interactions and a power imbalance.
If you have two kids on the same footing who are simply having a disagreement or saying mean things to one another, that’s not bullying—that’s meanness. There’s no child who’s going to go through the K–12 years without experiencing some meanness and probably dishing it out as well.